Lauri Laukkanen
Where darkness meets the Light by ~uildrim
Where darkness meets the Light by ~uildrim
"None so good that he has no faults, None so wicked that he is worth naught."
"None so good that he has no faults, None so wicked that he is worth naught."- Edith Hamilton, Mythology
sarakdiesel: Antiaris CS5 Antiaris by Sara K. Diesel | on...
Antiaris
CS5
Antiaris by Sara K. Diesel | on tumblr | on deviantArt
sarakdiesel: Basilika CS5 I feel like I've been working on this...
Basilika
CS5
I feel like I've been working on this one forever, but it was worth it. I think I'm done with snakes- for a while, anyway.
My sophomore year of college I did a really ambitious oil painting of Medusa. At the time, I had no clue what I was doing, and it took me so long I actually ended up turning in a wet painting. For a couple of years now I've really wanted to do a redemption piece because I felt like Medusa was too good to waste on one crappy project. So anyway, this is my new spin on the gorgon myth.
Basilika by Sara K. Diesel | on tumblr | on deviantArt
Golden dust by ~Vetrova
Golden dust by ~Vetrova
How to Spot a Narcissist using Astrology
It can't be done. You can't use astrology to predict if someone is a Narcissist or will become one. Astrology however can help you to understand certain aspects of things such as Narcissism. Just like any other tool which helps us to understand ourselves can also help us to understand others.
Things like astrology do not tell us who we are, that is our job. But they can help us to figure ourselves out as they give us a starting point, questions to ask ourselves, interpretations which we can use to decide if something fits us or not. Being able to say 'That's me' or 'That's not me' or 'Hmmm, I wonder if I do that?' are all ways in which we discover our true selves. It's a journey of exploration. Occasionally we get answers to questions from these explorations, and sometimes we just get more questions.
I read a very interesting article – Astrology and Narcissism by Satori on Elsa Elsa . It points out that Narcissism can't be seen in a chart, however a person's attitude to their astrological chart can hint towards possible Narcissism:
"Consider the person as a metaphorical car. The true self is the driver. The false self is the back seat driver. The true self embodies all the energies of the natal chart, the driver. Consider the back seat driver to have a made up chart, one that has been picked out of the air, not a real set of energies that can be accessed. The driver takes the car out based on the very real energies in their natal chart and transits that chart experiences, but it is the back seat driver that gets out of the car at the destination and interacts." © Satori
If you know someone who is into astrology, but who only focuses on certain parts of their chart while ignoring others, perhaps even to the point of denial of those other parts, who perhaps does not like their Sun sign and chooses to be a different one based on liking that sign better… since not liking the real self and creating a false self to be is a Narcissistic trait, then this may disclose that someone is a Narcissist.
If a person does not like astrology, then this criteria is not applicable.
Now I don't particularly like my Sun sign – Capricorn – but this is mainly because most common descriptions of Capricorn are quite harsh. Some astrologers demonise Capricorns, as it is associated with the devil, and its ruling planet is Saturn, that god who devoured his own children. This negative view of Capricorn annoyed me for a long time. I have been interested in astrology since I was in my early teens. In fact it was introduced to me by a boyfriend who very kindly pointed out that he was better than me because he was an Aquarius and I was a bit crap because I was a Capricorn. He was joking, but it challenged me to find out everything I could about astrology to prove him wrong. A very Capricorn thing to do. He wasn't wrong, Aquarians are indeed quite awesome, but Capricorns have their own kind of awesome too.
Since my parents both have NPD, and liked to point out how awful I was when I didn't fulfill their Narcissistic needs, being told by astrologers that my Sun sign was awful, didn't really help me to form a healthy view of myself. Also, when my mother discovered my enjoyment of astrology, she did the typical Narcissistic move of taking it over, pretending she was an expert and pointing out to me how wonderful she was because she was a Leo, and how awful I was because I was a Capricorn just like her father whom she hated.
But I did not reject my Sun sign and choose another one which I would rather be, just like I didn't reject who I was and choose a new identity for myself. It just took me a while to actually like my Sun sign and myself, and that process took me through the dark side of my sign and myself before I could embrace the light side of both. It required using my own self knowledge, something learned by experiencing life and myself, to see both in a clear and balanced way.
I also had my natal chart wrong for a long period because I had the time wrong. This can also confuse matters. A person who does not know their actual time will struggle with getting their chart right. Just as a person who is constantly told by others who they are, may struggle with finding their true self. Deep down inside, we know who we are, figuring that out is part of our journey through life. It can be fun, and it can be troublesome. It is also always evolving and changing. New experiences gives us new views of who we are.
If you don't like astrology. No worries. If you do like astrology… there is a lot to be gathered from exploring all the bits and pieces of your chart. If something sounds bad, if an aspect seems negative… there is a positive side to every negative. The dark side often has treasures beyond compare. And, as Jung so accurately pointed out – Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
secretsecretboudoir: floating now towards dreams, I hope....
floating now towards dreams, I hope.
nayyirahwaheed: what i never learned from my motherwas thatjust because someone desires youdoes not...
what i never
learned
from my mother
was that
just because someone desires you
does
not mean they value you.
desire is the kind of thing that
eats you
and
leaves you starving.- the color of low self esteem, nayyirah waheed
rollthedrumss: Dmitry Bocharov Photography ROLL...
Dmitry Bocharov Photography
touchdisky: Benggala Tiger by yudi lim
Benggala Tiger by yudi lim
Write 10 facts about yourself and send this to 10 of your favorite followers!
Are these actual facts or invented facts? Same thing really… here goes:
1. I never do as I'm told. Although I often do what I say I never do.
2. I don't have followers. There are some wonderful weirdos who like my tumblr for some insane reason, they probably don't even know why they like it because they're completely and beautifully crazy… or they accidentally pressed follow when they actually meant to press block.
3. I am an Earthling, though for many years I suspected that I may have crash landed here from another planet.
4. The number four freaks me out a little bit… I have dyslexia, and numbers are my nemesis, especially number four. Perhaps because it is the only number which can't be any other number, unlike 2 & 5 or 6 & 9.
5. I get distracted very easily, and sometimes forget why I am doing what I am doing. Why am I doing this?
6. I don't like stripey wallpaper. In fact most wallpaper bothers me, I always wonder what is hiding underneath it. I prefer bare walls.
7. I hate shopping. In fact I can't remember the last time I actually bought a piece of clothing. That's an image you didn't want in your mind.
8. I prefer walking around barefoot. My feet have scars due to this. One scar is in the shape of a triangle.
9. …..
10. The person I am on the internet, is the person who lives inside my head.
Sacrifice by ~GreenViggen
Sacrifice by ~GreenViggen
An Innocent by *kohashu
An Innocent by *kohashu
Sympathy for the Narcissist
I’m not planning on making any excuses for Narcissists and their behaviour. I just think that it is important to remember that although Narcissists often seem like they are not human, as not being human is something they are actively seeking to become, they are in fact human. They are afraid of being human, thus their humanness is very deeply hidden underneath their fervent desire to be more than human.
This is one of the keys to understanding what motivates a Narcissist. Much of what they say and do is to achieve their need to transcend being human. The reason they believe that this is possible is because they are stuck in early childhood. Their thinking is like that of a child, magic is very real to them, monsters still live under the bed, tooth fairies still visit to collect their offerings, there be dragons and damsels in distress, frogs turn into princes, princesses get trapped in towers and need rescuing, pots of gold await at the end of a rainbow, and Santa Claus has a list which determines whether or not you get a prize.
This permanent childhood, with all the magical thinking it brings with it, explains why Narcissists are so charming. They can be some of the most positive people you will ever meet, as long as you never get to know them more than as a casual acquaintance. They can still be extremely charming if you are in a relationship with them, but you get to see the Mr. Hyde side too.
For those who only ever see the wonderful side of a Narcissist, they are a magical presence. They will encourage others to pursue their dreams, believe in magical spells such as the power of positive thinking, the power to think anything into being, to become whoever you want to become just by thinking it and believing it, and do whatever you want to do because you can. They are the ultimate salesmen of turning the word ‘impossible’ into ‘I’m possible’. Their passion for believing the unbelievable is fuelled by the need to prove to themselves that Clark Kent can turn into Superman, because one day they will become Superman, only better than Superman ever was. New and improved.
They are ideal perfection chasers. They are highly effective motivational speakers, the success against all odds story teller who will never actually tell you how they really achieved their success. You probably won’t be told about all those who helped them, they usually climbed the mountain all on their own without equipment, nor will you ever hear about all the people they stepped on and screwed over to get to the tippy top of their magical dream mountain. Those are the details which need to be omitted or you lose the attention of your audience. Keep the story short and simple, but make sure it has a large dose of magic. You will be told how if they can do it, you can do it too, because what is possible for one person is possible for every person. But they don’t believe that, they know that they are better than you, they prove it to themselves every time they lie to you telling you that you can achieve what they have achieved, but their lies are noble, because ordinary humans need all the help that superhumans can generously give them.
That spiritual guru who keeps telling you about heightened mystical experiences they have had, which are very rare to have and you probably won’t ever have one, but they will still teach you how to attain spiritual enlightenment… at a price. Who steals the words of wise men and women who shared their work for free, then sells their recycled wisdom to you at a high price, because nothing worth having is ever free. No matter how much you pay them, you will never reach spiritual enlightenment, you will probably never understand the process, or any of their teachings, the whole thing will be highly mysterious and elusive, mainly because they don’t actually know how to get it themselves, they imagined it and it happened, but it is not actually real. They are a spiritual guru because they do not want to be an ordinary human.
That exciting, mysterious friend who tantalises you with all the drama and secrets in their life, which they might one day share with you, if you prove to them that you are worthy enough to receive their gift of sharing their specialness, but never actually do. Because there is no real drama except for that which they create and there are no real secrets except for those they invent. Yet there is a real tragedy within them, which they are desperately seeking to escape through magic, fantasy, illusion and deceiving others… to deceive themselves.
That is what truly lies behind why they deceive others. If you believe their lies, then they can believe them too. They need you to reinforce their version of reality.
To understand a Narcissist, you need to see them as very young children who refused to grow up.
My father’s favourite book was The Tin Drum - the story of a little boy who thought he was a very special being and when he was told that once he grew up he would have an ordinary life, he deliberately stunted his growth to remain a child forever. One of my father’s favourite games was what he called - Let’s Pretend. We used to pretend we were pirates, royalty, mythological beings, and that we ruled the world, and that everyone and everything in it was at our beck and call. I grew out of that game. My father never did.
Narcissism is a healthy phase of growth, we all go through it, and most of us move on to the next phase. We retain the positive aspects of Narcissism, which help us deal with our journey through the human life experience. We can all be a bit childish in our behaviour, sometimes this is good, sometimes bad, depending on the moment and situation. We usually are aware of when we revert to childishness. Sometimes it is fun.
This is why Narcissists find it so easy to attract us and spin a web around us. They seem to be fun to be around. Everything is a game. Emotions are heightened, the highs are very high, and the lows are very low. Everything is larger than life. It’s addictive, especially if our own lives are very serious, very real, and very adult. The magical thinking of the Narcissist reminds us of our own inner child, and invites our inner child out to play. And play some more. And more. Until the game turns into the Lord of the Flies.
When they are good, they are very very good, and when they are bad, they are horrid. That was my mother’s favourite nursery rhyme, she always told me that it described her perfectly. In fact she had a picture of herself when she was 3 years old, which showed an innocent little toddler with a curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she showed me that picture she was not showing me an image of who she had been, it was portrait of herself as she saw herself always, a Picture of Dorian Gray.
Narcissists don’t actually like real mirrors with real reflections. What they see when they look in the mirror, is not what is being reflected back at them. My mother saw the perpetual little girl with the curl, my father saw a little boy who refused to grow up and liked to play pretend. All of his self portraits were of him either as a young boy, or a grown man wearing clown makeup.
Many Narcissists will actually tell you that they are Narcissists, it’s just that we don’t always hear what they are saying when they say it because we think that they think as we do. Thus when they behave in a way which hurts us and they seem oblivious to the pain they are causing, and they deny all responsibility for their actions, we think that they did it deliberately, with cold calculation. Perhaps it is cold calculation, but it is not the manipulations of an adult with an adult mind, it is a child with a child’s mind inside an adult’s body.
Shakti by ~Aledin
Blue Seeds by ~Aledin
Blue Seeds by ~Aledin
"There are times where excessive innocence seems so monstrous that it becomes hateful."
"There are times where excessive innocence seems so monstrous that it becomes hateful."- Gaston Leroux
Ruadh DeLone
Ka Kathryn June
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